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hi it's great to be back with you
i am feeling well
mind if i just sing
i'll start upon hearing the bell

mummy's baking birthday bread
and daddy's drink destroys his head
and little distant cousin's asleep
but i'm a cool daddio
bubba's busy masturbating
sissy's sewing sweaters
so her fine fiance fits in the sheep
but i'm a cool daddio

you should see my fancy outfit
you should see their eyes

mummy's polishing pottery
and daddy wins the lottery
and grandma's little nephew's in bed
but i'm a cool daddio
bubba's boring barbara
and sissy's in the shower
shaving stubbles like her fiance said
cool daddio, that's me

i'm so debonair
but i don't care to stick around
so i'm gettin' outta here

mummy begs for me to stay
and daddy says to go away
and little distant cousin woke up
yet i'm a cool daddio

everyone just settle down
and listen to my song

bubba's breaking bureau shelves
and sissy is proud of herself
because her fiance is choked up
cool daddio, i'm just a...

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