You might be a celebrity-everybody sits up and begs
You might be the sexiest thing since God invented legs
You might be a dictator, a dealer or a saint
Cool is here to tell you when you're cool and when you ain't
If you lose your cool-if you lose your cool-if your cool don't work
If your cool's gone fishin' you ain't nothing but a cool jerk

Now you might be a nazi-lookin' for a friend
You might be a beginning- looking for an end
Some folks go for the ice and snow-some like it Florida hot
Cool is here to tell you what is cool and what is not

You can write a book about the money you took
You and pose on the cover nude
You can flip on an ego trip-time'll do the cover on you
But don't you ever cross me dude
'Cos that ain't cool, that's an attitude

You might be a macho man
Do 50 million sit-ups a day
You might be an expert, with something important to say
You might be an evangelist-livin' on the wages of sin
Cool is here to tell you what is out and what is in