Sulu got another DUI
Took his license
Now he cannot fly
Uhura's got to get another line
Girl is on the phone all the time

Really something strange about Yeoman Rand
Turned out that that woman was a man
Scotty blew the warp core out again
Didn't change the oil
Tried to go warp ten

You know it's like this every day
Warping all around
Don't know why I stay
Don't think I'll ever see the end
Scotty's drunk
Chekov's a punk
Kirk gets laid again

Just found out McCoy is getting sued
Liked to use his hypo in the nude
Chekov isn't really what he seems
Looks just like a beetle
All he does is scream

And all I really want
Is a little more time
I've got to have more power
Just hit Warp 11
Think I lost my mind

Spock has got those crazy pointy ears
Only gets laid every seven years
Scotty says he's got to have more time
Chekov's in the bathroom
Think he's going blind

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