[NORMA] Hurry up, the birthday boy is on his way This is a surprise celebration I hope you've remembered everything I've said I want to see a total transformation
[JOE,spoken] What's all this?
[NORMA,spoken] Happy birthday, darling. Did you think we'd forgotten?
[JOE,spoken] Well, I ... I don't know
[NORMA,spoken] These people are from the best men's shop in town. I had them close it down for the day
[JOE,spoken] Norma, now listen!
[NORMA,spoken] I'll leave you boys to it
[MANFRED] Happy birthday, welcome to your shopathon!
[JOE] What's going on?
[MANFRED] Help yourself, it's all been taken care of Anyone who's anyone is dressed by me
[JOE] Well, golly gee
[MANFRED] Pick out anything you'd like a pair of You just point, I'll do the rest I've brought nothing but the best You're a very lucky writer Come along now, get undressed Unless I'm much mistaken That's a 42-inch chest
[JOE] I don't understand a word you're saying
[MANFRED] Well, all you need to know's the lady's paying It's nice to get your just reward this time of year
[JOE] Get outta here!
[MANFRED] And all my merchandise is strictly kosher When you've thrown away all your old worn-out stuff
[JOE] Hey, that's enough
[MANFRED] Perhaps you'd like to model for my brochure I have just the thing for you Chalk-stripe suits
[SALESMAN 1] In black
SALESMAN 2] Or blue
[SALESMAN 3] Glen plaid trousers
[SALESMAN 4] Cashmere sweaters
[SALESMAN 5] Bathing shorts for Malibu
[SALESMAN 6] Here's a patent leather lace-up
[SALESMAN 7] It's a virtuoso shoe
[MANFRED] And a simply marvelous coat made of vicuna
[JOE] You know what you can do with your vicuna
[NORMA] Come on Joe, you haven't even started yet
[JOE] You wanna bet?
[NORMA] I thought by now he'd look the height of fashion He always takes forever making up his mind Don't be unkind I thought you writers knew about compassion
I love flannel on a man
[MANFRED] This will complement his tan
[NORMA] We'll take two of these and four of those
[MANFRED] I'm still your greatest fan! Very soon now we'll have stopped him Looking like an also-ran
[JOE] You're going to make me sorry that I'm staying
[NORMA] Well, all right, I'll choose, after all, I'm paying!
[MANFRED] Evening clothes?
[NORMA] I want to see your most deluxe
[JOE] Won't wear a tux
[NORMA] Of course not, dear, tuxedos are for waiters
[MANFRED] What we need are tails, a white tie and top hat
[JOE] I can't wear that
[NORMA] Joe, second-rate clothes are for second-raters
[JOE, spoken] Norma, please...
[NORMA] Shut up, I'm rich Now some platinum blonde bitch I own so many apartments I've forgotten which is which
[JOE] I don't have to go to premieres I'm never on display You seem to forget that I'm a writer Who cares what you wear when you're a writer?
[NORMA] I care, Joe, and please don't be so mean to me
[JOE] O.K., all right
[NORMA, spoken] You can't come to my New Year's Eve party in that filling-station shirt
[JOE, spoken] I've been invited somewhere else on New Year's Eve
[NORMA, spoken] Where?
[JOE, spoken] Artie Green. He's an old friend of mine
[NORMA] I can't do without you, Joe, I need you I've sent out every single invitation
[JOE] All right, Norma, I give in
[NORMA] Of course you do And when they've dressed you You'll cause a sensation
[SALESMEN] We equip the chosen few of Movieland
[MANFRED] The latest cut
[SALESMEN] We dress every movie star and crooner From their shiny toecaps to their hatband
[MANFRED] Conceal your gut You won't regret selecting the vicuna
[SALESMEN] If you need a hand to shake If there's a girl you want to make If there's a soul you're out to capture Or a heart you want to break If you want the world to love you
[MANFRED] You'll have to learn to take
[SALESMEN] And gracefully accept the role you're playing
[MANFRED] You will earn every cent the lady's paying
[SALESMEN] So why not have it all?
[MANFRED] Now that didn't hurt, did it?
[SALESMEN] The lady's paying!Teksty umieszczone na naszej stronie są własnością wytwórni, wykonawców, osób mających do nich prawa.