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I make this dumb face
(Derp)
I got zero shame
I'm dancing like Elaine
Invading people's space
(Excuse me)
Here comes a fake laugh
And now I'm acting black
(Yo yo dawg)
I know tons of raps
(Rap rap!)
Like Notorious 2-pac
I'm strapped


I'm such a doofus
Acting like I'm clueless
But I can be ruthless
If you break my heart
You'll end up in a shitty song


But I never ever ever get pissed or miffed
I just bottle up my rage
Then write a hit
I treat haters like a fly
At a picnic
And I whack 'em off
Whack 'em off
(Oh oh oh)


I read every comment and message board
And "swiftkickr" say I wasn't as good as Lorde
Gonna find him and squish his testicles
Turn and cough
Turn and cough
(Oh oh)


I f**k English guys
(Groovy baby)
I got hotdogs thighs
(Pr pr pr)
I always act suprised
I won?
Life is a suprise
Yay me!
These girls are working hard
(Yes, we're working hard)
They want to Julliard
(Maxed out credit cards)
But I dance like a tard
(That's true)
And I'm a superstar
(Life's cruel)


Now I'll try twerking
But my butt ain't working
It's just some spastic jerking
Let me crawl below
While I peek at your camel toes


(Hey hey hey
Just think
In the time I spent writing a song about
Shaking it off
I could have been actually shaking it off
To this
Sick
Beat)


This part's designed
To be sung in time
By some 12 years old girls in a mall
(Best friends!)
Just turned 24 not a kid anymore
But I act like I'm just like y'all


What is this!?
I asked for Dijon mustard!
(Uh, ah, uh)


And I'm drivin' you insane, sane, sane, sane, sane
With my infinite refrain, frain, frain, frain, frain, frain
Torturing your brain, brain, brain, brain, brain, brain
(Shut it off! Shut it off!)
Ha ha ha!

I was hired by the CIA - A - A
Just to write a song to play, play, play, play, play
At Guantanamo Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay, Bay, Baby
(Make it stop! Make it stop!)
(Ahhhhh)

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