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I must have been about five years old when
I went to see The Sooty Show
My parents took me nearly every Christmas

We'd been going three years in a row
But this time was different, cos something happened
That made me never go again
In the interval they ran a competition
And somebody read out my name

I was going on stage to meet my
favourite bear
Sooty, Sweep and Soo and Matthew
Corbett were there.

I remember clearly standing with my parents
On stage and waiting in a queue
Not quite believing how cool it was to
Meet the real Sooty, Sweep and Soo

I reached the front and he was waving at me
So yellow, cute and loveable
Poor Matthew Corbett. He tried to stop me
But Sooty was so huggable

I ran out and grabbed and squeezed my favourite bear.
How was I to know that I'd feel fingers in there?

Sooty's not a real bear he's just a human hand
A human hand, a human hand, a human hand, AAAAAAARGH!!!!!
...
AAAAAARGH

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