[Verse 1]
Went to the toilet and I fucked a dog (Yeah)
Turkey is sad 'cause I got it wrong (Yeah)
Dad walked in while I touched my dong (Yeah)
Call up my dealer and hit the bong (Yeah)
Your girl came 'round and left her thong (Yeah)
She likes my dick because it's long (Yeah)
Sat on my face 'cause she likes the tongue (Yeah)
Went for round two, go all night long (Yeah)
Pussy be streaming like a billabong (Yeah)
Done with your girl so I won't be long (Yeah)
Got no friends, I don't belong (what?)
A Polish guy helped write this song

[Verse 2]
Got a friend who looks like a thumb
Hitting that ass like a bass drum (Yeah)
You know what it is, stop playing dumb
I wanted this line to end with "schtum" (Yeah)
Invite me to a party so you know I'll come
Met some fit girls so you know I'll cum (Yeah)
Had some fears that I've overcome
Dropped a baby in an oil drum (Yeah)
Smacking that titty like a bongo drum
Put down your veg and feel my plums (Yeah)
Why drink whiskey, when there's rum?
Pussy like a harp, because of the strum

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