[Verse 1]
Last time we had a family meal
I created ordeals and put my balls in the meat
Down on my knees, all eyes on me
Blow my load inside the family turkey
Family shunned me, said I shouldn't be
Having sex with a piece of poultry
Daddy told me: "It's okay to be lonely"
But it's not okay to get a turkey to blow me?
Remember that thing that Cameron did?
Tried to be in uni, so he fucked a pig
What we did? Something like this:
Christmas turkey and gravy dick
Girls think I'm repulsive, maybe it's a cult thing
Why eat meat when you can make love to it?
My body is pumping, chest convulsions
I read Kama Sutra, don't resist impulses

[Chorus]
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Turkey laid an egg
Use my balls as stuffing
Then I take it to my bed (Hey)
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Turkey laid an egg
Use my balls as stuffing
Then I take it to my bed (Hey)

[Verse 2]
This year, I met with my family
It turns out they have abandoned me
It seems I have some sexual fantasies
I did last year, seemed to anger thee
Fuck you all, I don't need you in my life
I've got more than my family in mind
Wrap some gifts and put them, fire, beside
See some fowl that's got me mesmerised
I bend down and get fucked
Made love to a big duck
This year I didn't get much
But all I need is my turkey's love
Bing it in the mic', let the turkey soften
This is a sequel to "Family Problems"
Need rehab for this complication
Musical, cancerous situation
Here is a gift from me to you
'Cause it's special, I wrapped it too
We did "Rehab" and one-nine-two
This year ends with this festive tune

[Chorus]
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Turkey laid an egg
Use my balls as stuffing
Then I take it to my bed
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Turkey laid an egg
Use my balls as stuffing
Then I take it to my bed (Hey)
Jingle bells, jingle bells (Jingle bells, jingle bells)
Turkey laid an egg (Turkey laid an egg)
Use my balls as stuffing (Use my balls as stuffing)
Then I take it to my bed (Then I took it to my bed)
Jingle bells, jingle bells (Jingle bells, jingle bells)
Turkey laid an egg (Turkey laid an egg)
Use my balls as stuffing (Use my balls as stuffing)
Then I take it to my bed (Then I took it to my bed)

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