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E / Epic Rap Battles Of History / Artists vs Turtles


Leonardo da Vinci:

Cowabunga, dude, so let's get it on
Reptiles against the fathers of the Renaissance
We got the classical technique
To kick these three toed freaks back under the street
I take a turtle and I turn him into mincemeat
You don't really wanna step to da Vinci
I love the ladies, I like to keep it mellow
So let me pass the mic to my man, Donatello

Donatello di Niccolò:

Hard shell, but you're gross in the middle
Wouldn't wanna touch you with a six foot chisel
Born in goop, raised in poop
I slice through a group of ninjas like fruit, oops.

Raphael Sanzio da Urbino:

(Yo) Raphael, and I came to flow
Deemed dope by the Pope and I boned til I croaked
I'm an emcee Shredder but I get the feeling
I should pass it up to my man on the ceiling

Michelangelo Buonarroti:

(Ohhh) Michelangelo, and I'm a giant,
I made David, but I'll slay you like Goliath
I'm a rap God and you can't quite touch me
This battle's your Last Judgement, trust me!

Leonardo da Vinci and Donatello di Niccolò:

We drop science!

Michelangelo Buonarroti and Raphael Sanzio da Urbino:

We got the mathematics!

Artists:

The architects of rebirth are rap addicts
You beat the Foot, but it won't go well
When you catch an Italian boot to the half shell!

Leonardo (Turtle):

The wisdom of our master, Splinter.

Donatello (Turtle):

Taught us not to rush to violence (Splinter)

Raphael (Turtle):

But our master, Master Splinter

Michelangelo (Turtle):

Ain't here, dude! (Hee-yah)

Leonardo (Turtle):

I don't think you wanna mess with my katana blades
Get back in your floppy helicopter, fly away

Michelangelo (Turtle):

I can bebop and steady rock a mic, sucka!
I'm a pristine Sistine nun chucka!

Raphael (Turtle):

Oh hi, I'm a cool but rude guy
Put you back in school with the tip of my two sai

Donatello (Turtle):

(Uh) Dona-tell me who you are again, dude
Cause I don't Gattamelata clue what you do

Donatello di Niccolò:

That's because you mutants are too immature

Leonardo da Vinci:

You wouldn't know genius if it pissed in your sewer

Artists:

We got the talent, and the minds, and the rhymes so sweet,
We're like your NES game, cause we can't be beat!

Leonardo (Turtle):

Go ahead and hate cause we'll just skate on by

Michelangelo (Turtle):

You guys draw more dicks than New York pride

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

We're the TMNT, drop kicking Italy (Go. Go. Go.)
Chowing on your tower made of pizza, save a slice for me!
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