---

You were convulsing in the next room, so I lay awake in bed,
And prayed to a God that I don't believe in so that he may keep you safe.
I could hear our father's fingers work their way into the wood of your door frame.
Mother shaking as your eyes rolled back into your head again.

Just as we thought death would prevail, Febrile Response gave way to pale.
Cavities to fingernails, anxiety has left me frail.
But I felt then how I feel now,
Despite the detriment you've faced, it is your warmth that's made me proud.
And though I barely remember, it was you who soothed my ache;
In the depth of my depression. I thought my life was mine to take.

I am forever in your debt for things that you could never say,
All the love that I have felt, you gave with no intentions to take.

I am as the moon, any affection that my glow is the subject of belongs to you,
For I am nothing more than a reflection of you, and your love.

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