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B / Bart Baker / Uptown Funk Parody


This song is lazy
It just rips off the 80s
back when all Funk music was made by huge cocaine addicts
Every nostril had some white nose candy in it
and everyone got up to use the bathroom every ten minutes

I'm too high
Just snort
That guy looks like Michael Jackson
I'm 5'5
That's short
That's not a man, that's a lesbian
Who's that guy?
Some dork
I wrote this song! I'm Mark Ronson!
This looks like
New York
but it's just a cheap run-down movie set

Girls walking by ignore us
Ew!
walk by and just ignore us
Ew!
This song has no real chorus
True!
It's just me and these four guys clappin'
looking into the camera clappin'
Something cool is about to happen
We're gonna dance while the cameraman
spins the camera around
Spin it!

Mark don't try to get down!
White boy dance like a clown
Why? Because I'm not brown?
Hey don't have a meltdown!
Please let me hang around!
Okey fine just
Stop!
Come walk with me
Just don't dance Ronson you're too shitty
Bruno please sing this check
to buy a car that's a wreck
Which we'll dance 'round in the street
without gettin' in it
Can I please dance with you guys now?
No Mark Ronson you keep sittin'

I'm too hot
You're wet
The sweat's turning my pink jacket red
Could you stop dancin'
I'm trying to shine your shoes you coke head!
Now we've got
Up top
old lady hair rollers on our heads
We look like
grandmas
and my damn nose is bloody
from the blow

I was on a computer
Ooh
And I read a strange rumor
Ooh
You're Michael Jackson Jr!
Ooh!
So it is true was he your father?
That would be an amazing honor
That can't be they're different colors!
Back from the dead to clear up this shit
but first grab your own dick and dance!
One more time grab your dick
Time for rumors is done
yes I had one more son
and the world will be stunned
to learn you are the one
I'm your father!

Oh my God!
I knew it!
I'm Michael Jackson's son!
The rumors were true!

No, not you!
Him, Mark Ronson

Yes! That means I'm black!
I can dance heh!
In your face, guys!
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