---

I read the news today, oh, boy
About a lucky man who made the
grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph

He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that the lights had
changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure if he was
from the house of lords

I saw a film today, oh, boy
The english army had just won the
war
A crowd of people turned away
But I just had a look
Having read the book
I'd love to turn you on

Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank
a cup
And looking up I noticed I was late

Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a
smoke
And somebody spoke and I went
into a dream

I read the news today, oh, boy
Four thousand holes in Blackburn,
Lancashire
And though the holes were rather
small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many holes it
takes
To fill the Albert Hall
I'd love to turn you on!

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