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Gray hair, glasses, suitcase
Humble, clever and constantly working for peace.

Uganda, Congo and the Oslo treaty plan
Oh my God, what a plan.

Not as famous as Gahr Stare,
Not a daddy's boy like Jens,
But when handgrenades are flying
There's just one man you can trust.

When there's war and all is hell
Send in Jan Egeland!
The United Nations superhero man.

Mad dictator with a gun
Send in Jan Egeland
Oh, how I wish... I was Jan Egeland..

Blue eyes, firm hands, nice legs
Clean shaved body, drinking his protein shakes
Spray-tan, akin cream and buttocks like he was eighteen
He's a peacekeeping machine..

And he stares into the mirror
Flexing muscles in the night
And he says: "Boy, I think you're ready..
..to protect some human rights"

When there's war and all is hell
Bring in Jan Egeland!
The United Nations superhero man.

He plays golf with Kofi Annan
And looks at maps with George Cloon
Oh, how I wish... That I was Jan Egeland!

Egeland (Egeland)
Egeland (Egeland)

When he's sad he goes to funerals
In unusually heavy rain
Large amounts of water in his face
But that doesn't hide his pain.

He breaks down just like homo
And starts crying just like a girl.
But I guess you can cry and still be a man
If your day job is saving the world!

When there's war and all is hell
Send in Jan Egeland!
He's a macho musclepumping..
Crying god!

If there's one man you should trust,
It is the Janny-boy,
Oh, how I wish... That I was Jan Egeland!

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