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Counting the seconds
Hoping they won’t be hours
Until my mind
Stops ruining my life
Torturing itself and my body
Causing horrible pain and endless suffering.
Feeling better is just an illusion
To fool myself and then…to fall deeper again.


Don’t give up…they say.
I say: don’t even try!
Try to survive they pray
But I am longing for suicide



Never is the word I should
Have already learnt:
Never try anything you want
Cause you won’t succeed

Never healing wounds just won’t stop bleeding.
My carved heart just can’t stop crying for ever.


Counting the years now
Does it make any sense to count further?

The happiest moment in my life when I think about suicide.
Longing for my death is the only thing I want to get.

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