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I've been 'round for a long time
And I learned along the way:
"If you wanna go on the radio
There are words you just can't say!"
Well, I thought hard about it
And I found a way around it


Chorus:
Help me go on the radio, you gotta say the words I can't.
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirties song that ain't
Come on, ma'am, won't you give me your hand
And say the words I can't ?
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirties song that ain't


Down in Carolina
I met a girl with a nice [...]
So i reached down between us
And whipped out my [...]
Skipped right past the suckin'
And go right down to [...]
She turned and said: "I gotta ask,
Whould you slip it into my [...]?"


Chorus:
Help me go on the radio and say the words I can't.
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirties song that ain't
Come on, ma'am, won't you give me your hand
And say the words I can't ?
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirties song that ain't


Her husband was a trucker
He was a filthy mother[...]
I didn't wanna wrestle
With this no-good stinkin' [...]
I heard him come throug the kitchen door
When I was bangin' his filthy [...]
I knew I'd end up in a ditch
If he cought me ridin' his [...]


Chorus:
Help me go on the radio and say the words I can't.
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirties song that ain't
Come on, ma'am, won't you give me your hand
And say the words I can't ?
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirties song that ain't


"Mercy, please!" I told him,
But he grabbed me by the [...]
And he did something heinous
He exposed his [...]
I said "I don't mean to seem crass,
But why you buttering up your [...]?"
He said "My wife's a beard, and she lured you here,
'Couse I'm queer and I love it in the [...]"


Chorus:
Help me go on the radio by saying the words I can't.
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirties song that ain't
Sir and ma'am, thanks for lending a hand
By saying the words I can't
You had to sing along to make this song
The dirties song, the filthiest song,
The dirties song that ain't

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