Jesus was a Jewish philosopher Had a lot of nice ideas About our existential fears Much admired by his peers Short and Jewish and quite political Often hesitant and very analytical
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Jesus was a great entertainer Doing cool tricks all of the time Turning water into wine Making stormy weather fine Even now his stunts confound us Kinda did what Darren Brown does
Praise be to Jesus Praise be to magic Woody Allen Jesus Magic Woody Allen Jesus!
Jesus died but then came back to life So the Holy Bible said Kinda like in Dawn of the Dead Like a film by Simon Pegg Try that these days, you'd be in trouble Geeks would try to smack you with a shovel
Praise be to Jesus Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus!
Jesus ascended into Heaven He was an incredible guy You don't often find fellas that fly Disappear right into the sky And only once did he use this ability With great power comes great responsibility
Praise be to Jesus Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Jesus Jesus!
Jesus' mother gave birth to him Without having sex with a dude No, she would never be that rude Never even be nude with a dude Breeding without the opposite gender is Commonly known as parthenogenesis Other animals that don't need males Include a lot of lizards and various snails
Praise be to Jesus Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Komodo Dragon Jesus Jesus!
Jesus can communicate with the deceased Like Psychic Sally Jesus lives forever, which is pretty odd But not as odd as his fetish for drinking blood Jesus is in more than one place at a time Like an electron or Schardinger's feline Jesus pulled off that water walking miracle He was as handy as an amphibious vehicle Jesus had bare feet, long hair, and a beard But I'm not saying it's me I'm not saying that I am Jesus I'm not saying that I am Jesus I am Jesus!
Praise be to Jesus Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus Woody Allen Jesus! Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Komodo Dragon Telepathic Vampire Quantum Hovercraft ‘Me’ Jesus!
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