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T / Tim Minchin / Song for Wossy


Wossy, in two weeks you’ll be gone
This is my last opportunity to sing you a song
So I wanna ask a favour before you get on with your life

Jonathan, I wanna make love to you
Wossy I just wanna make sweet love to you
Just once, I wanna make sweet love to you
Sweet love to your wife

There’s just something about her
That drives me insane
She’s got that cute sense of humour
And a brilliant brain
But if I’m totally honest
My feelings for Jane
Are mostly sexual

Don’t wanna put you and her
In an awkward position
But I know I’d regret it
If I didn’t ask the question
I have talked to my wife
And she gave me permission
We both have a celebrity shag concession
And mine is Jane
Hers is Wayne Rooney
Although to be fair
There’s not much chance of scoring there

Jane, in two weeks time
Your hubby will be out on the breadline baby
And surely you’re not gonna wanna be
Spending time with a bum
I know that in a month or three
He’ll have weaselled his way back onto my TV
But in the meantime, would you consider me
For a little fun?

Just one night, Jane, would embiggen me
Just one night, baby, you’ll be diggin’ me
Just a little dabble in temporary bigamy
I just wanna make love, sweet love to you

What I wouldn’t give for just one night with you
Nothing too weird, just a nice night with a
Couple of whips and an underwater camera
I just wanna make a little sweet love to you

Wossy, you can watch if that’d make you feel better
That’d make it even more unforgettable
You can hold the camera and make some bruschetta
In case I get hungry making sweet love to your wife

Stop me, won’t you Wossy, if this is getting weird?
The thought of Jane nuzzling my ginger beard
I’m just doing a song, like we agreed
And it just happens to be a song about how I wanna make sweet love to your wife

Oooh

Jonathan I’ve always admired you
I was nervous about our interview
But your producers assured me
That all I had to do was be totally honest...with you
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