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You dear attractive dewy-eyed idealist,
Today you have to learn to be a realist.

You may be bent on doing deed of daring due,
But up against a shark, what can a herring do?

Be wise, compromise.
Compromise, and be wise!
Let them think you're on their side, be noncommittal.
I will not bow my head to the men I despise!
You won't have to bow your head to stoop a little.
Why not learn to put your faith and your reliance,
On an obvious and simple fact of science?

A crazy planet full of crazy people,
Is somersaulting all around the sky.
And every time it turns another somersault,
Another day goes by.
And there's no way to stop it,
No, there's no way to stop it.
No, you can't stop it even if you tried.
So, I'm not going to worry,
No, I'm not going to worry,
Every time I see another day go by.

While somersaulting at a cockeyed angle,
We make a cockeyed circle 'round the sun.
And when we circle back to where we started from,
Another year has run.

And there's no way to stop it,
No, there's no way to stop it,
If the earth wants to roll around the sun.
You're a fool if you worry.
You're a fool if you worry,
Over anything but little number one.

That's you!
That's I!
And I!
And me!
That all absorbing character.
That fascinating creature.
That super special feature,
Me!

So every star on every whirling planet,
And every constellation in the sky,
Revolves around the center of the universe,
That lovely thing called, I.

And there's no way to stop it.
No, there's no way to stop it,
And I know, though I cannot tell you why (sigh).
Just as long as I'm living,
Just as long as I'm living,
There'll be nothing else as wonderful as I.
I! I! I! Nothing else as wonderful as I!

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