VERSE 1 Woah! If it isn't a Lightner! Hey hey hey! Look like you're [[all alone on a late night?]] All your friends [[abandoned you for the slime]] you are? Sales gone down the [[drain]] [[drain]]? Living in a goddamn garbage can?! Haeahaeahaeahaeah!
Friend, either you're [[closing your eyes]] To [[savings]] you do not wish to acknowledge Or you are not aware of the calibre of [[discounts]] Indicated by the presence of a [[heart shaped object]] In your community
Hey kid, look at you! Right time, right place [[Ripe for the picking]] Right money in your pocket! You're so lucky! Very lucky! Oh so very very lucky! That you get to be investing in this [[Very Special Product]] From everybody's favorite [[number 1 rated salesman]] [[Circa 1997]] Mighty proud to say it! Mighty proud to say it! Yes I'm mighty proud to say it! [[Yes sir]]!
Don't you want to have a little fun [[little sponge]]?? Little something to pluck you from the glum humdrum??? Live comfortably [[capital at risk]] [[yum yum]] Listen up! For the offer only comes just once! [[Hey chum!]] I can see you're having violent thoughts But don't you wanna wanna be a be a [[big shot!]] [[Enquire today!]] While the secret's in stock! All you gotta do is [[Hyperlink blocked]]
I used to be nothing but the email guy Now I'm the [[It burns! Ow! Stop! Help me! It burns!]] guy!
CHORUS We've got never bettered bargains, we've got deals you won't believe We can tell you what you want before you realise what you need If you'll pardon us the jargon here's our Darkner guarantee We take cash or card or credit, but we'll take your heart for free
VERSE 2 [[Are you feeling down?]] [[Have you lost control?]] [[Is your life a mess?]] [[Do your friends despise you?!]] Well here's [[one weird trick discovered by a mom]] And I'm sure [[number 5 will surprise you!]] All you've ever dreamed of, shining, glistening! Gotta buckle up! Grab life by the [[silly string]]! You can have it! You can have it! Say the word, it's yours! Eahaehaehaehaeh! I wasn't listening See it says just here, right here, last year On the third of the fourth at five-o-six You searched cat pics online [[well that's just fine]]! [[Moist, delicious cookies]]
Little tippy tap kitty catalyst Now we have a list And we'll guess what every habit is Wanna buy a cat flap? Cat food? Catchup? Catamaran? You'll be categorically catatonic At the catalogue of categories I have at my hands A [[cavalcade of all your favorite brands]] An advertism schism cataclysm [[cash on demand]]! You'd better cancel your plans [[Cash for the crackers and the pickles and the flypaper]]! Wanna buy a cat plush? Plush toy? Toy box? Box wine?
Why won't Mike just call me
Backgammon? Ham and eggs? Egg chair? Chair bed? Bed bath? Bath sponge? Sponge who hates its [[$4.99]] Life boat? Boat shoe? Shoestring? String bean? Bean bag? Bagpipes? Pipe bomb? Bomber jacket? Jackdaw? Doorstop? [[Stop! No, please! Don't take my furniture!]] Stopwatch? Watchdog? Dog collar? Colorado? Adderall? Ads are all seeping Ping pong? Ponchos? Choke chains? Chainsaws? Swordfish-shish kebab-bobcat? [[Do you want a cat or not?!]]
Well you wanna be a [[big shot!]] don't you? Don't you wanna be the [[next big thing]]? You can do it! Yes it's true it's really true There's nothing to it, I can prove it Hear the registers ring! Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. You're kidding? It's for you Wanna know a secret…? [[Hyperlink blocked]]
[[You too can]] have a [[communion]] with [[unintelligible laughter]] Soon I'll even surpass that damned [[clown around town!]]
CHORUS We've got never bettered bargains, we've got deals you won't believe We can tell you what you want before you realise what you need If you'll pardon us the jargon here's our Darkner guarantee We take cash or card or credit, but we'll take your heart for free
VERSE 3 Holy [[cungadero]] there you [[funky]] little [[worm]] You seem unaware of all the money you could earn If you wanna get the gold Well there is stuff you gotta learn Milk the humans of their kindness Then there's [[butter to be churned]] You. Want. It. Need. It. Don't. You. See? But if you wanna make your screen green You're gonna need my Kromer key
Yes you've got trouble my friend [[whadayatalk?]] Right here in Cyber City! See I used to be a [[top notch]] [[big shot!]] Best deals! Best wheels! Best [[best prices in the tri-state area]] But you can get it back! Ha ha ha! Yes you can! All you gotta do is follow through my [[twelve step plan]] Bigger, bigger, better like the telephone was telling me [[You gotta know the territory!]] Spend a hand, lend a grand
Who's gonna patronize a little bitty Two by four kinda store anymore? Gotta go! Gotta get! Gotta get on and go! Make a deal! [[Big deal]] [[High score!]] [[Our store is closing]] Hot tip! Drop shipping! 4, 3, 2, 1! Not skipping offers wired into your inbox Swing by the gift shop! Think of the [[big shot!]] All this and more, click [[Hyperlink blocked]]
Can anyone hear me? Help… Mike… Mike?
CHORUS We've got never bettered bargains, we've got deals you won't believe We can tell you what you want before you realise what you need If you'll pardon us the jargon here's our Darkner guarantee We take cash or card or credit, but we'll take your heart for free
VERSE 4 [[Insurance!]] Know that I'm the best in policy! [[Honestly]] do you want to end in poverty? Buddy, I'm the one to help invest it properly! I'm here to talk about [[extended warranty]]!
It's a super, bumper, liquidation, last chance First day, half price, fire sale like never before! And it's there to explore, when you step in the door The very model of a modern major general store!
But the fact is everybody's gotta have it, gotta have it Those who have it really have it If you haven't, well you've had it, couldn't hack it Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the haves are very glad its Just the haven'ts that're lacking what they're having Now the ads have got the traffic And we've grabbed your demographic So you're packing up your basket Cos your dad has gotta have it He'll be sad if you don't wrap it with a tag, it'll be tragic So you're manically grabbing at the shelves amid the panic Seems that everybody has it, man you really gotta have it So you get it, you're ecstatic, but a crackle in the static And the it is out of fashion, just a fad, a piece of plastic So you trash it then you get back into your car cos you don't have it And the fact is everybody's gotta have it, gotta have it Those who have it really have it If you haven't, well you've had it, couldn't hack it Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the hads are very glad its [[Hochi mama]] what a mouthful!
In the [[encyclopedia of]] [[being afraid]] There ain't nothing to be scared of till there's fees to be paid There's deals to be made with [[seasonal savings]]! Regional ratings are lethally fading Screaming and raving, ceaseless appraising [Neat little plate with a needless engraving] Legally grey but sweet with the phrasing Feet in the grave but gleefully trading
Feeding the cravings, eat [[little plaything]] Deal so good I'll [$!$$] myself Feeding the cravings, eat [[little plaything]] [Gone with the sugar barrel, pickle barrel, milk pan] Feeding the cravings, eat [[little plaything]] I can feel that [smooth taste] already! Feeding the cravings, eat [[little plaything]] [[Hyperlink blocked]]Teksty umieszczone na naszej stronie są własnością wytwórni, wykonawców, osób mających do nich prawa.
