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T / The Peculiar Pretzelmen / Money McGillicutty


Money Mcgillicutty
trained in the art of animal husbandry
carried a balpene hammer and a bag of fine cutlery
wore an old rosary was a gift from the nunnery
sight of a cripple always made her go rubbery
never blessed at birth with no semblance of subtlety
ran away from Tennessee at the age of seventeen
swore she was descended from Robert E. Lee


Money Money Money Mcgillicutty
Go and tell everybody
Ain't got looks and she ain't got charm
She never meant nobody no harm
Money Money Money Mcgillicutty

Diamond Jim went in for bootlegging
did a bid down Baltimore on 5 to 10
got out in 7 and probation
Let him out on November 10
First thing he did was bump the stooge that put him in
Went underground with two Costa Ricans
Spend all his time just memorizing
the last books of the bible called Revelations

Money Money ....

Money met Jim at the bottom of a bottle of Gin
Louisiana bar cross from a police station
double crossed by the Costa Ricans
on about a pound and a half of heroin
Money and Jim got drunk as sin
Jim didn't know what kind of trouble he was in
little after midnight the cops busted in
with itchy trigger fingers looking for Diamond Jim

Money Money....

When the cops pulled their guns Jim thought he was done
but Money just laughed at the situation
Threw a bottle cross the bar hit a cop in the head
Two shots went off and the floor went red
Jim pulled money out from under a table
got out the back door as fast as they were able
Hot wired a Buick and headed for Texas
Got married on the way with nobody to bless it

Money Money....

Couple of months and the bottom dropped out
Money got drunk and punched Jim in the mouth
took the keys to the car, set fire to the house
Jim went south, but the cops picked him out
Diamond Jim went on back to jail
Money didn't care enough to throw his bail
so he's rotting there in Joaquina still
And Money she just cries and wails
Money she just cries and wails

Money Money
Money McGillicutty
go and tell everybody
ain't got looks well she ain't got charm
she never meant nobody no harm
Money Money Money McGillicutty
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