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Playing won’t do it

Begging won’t do it

Crying won’t do it

Nothing gets us in the charts

It’s really hard

Flowers won’t do it

Chocolates won’t do it

Death threats don’t do it

Everyone’s tried it now

Even little Bow Wow

Yippee yo yippee yo

So when you gonna play our

When you gonna play our song

Tom. Tom?

“Well it’s a very busy show”

And do you know

How we can get ourselves on radio

We’re so average, so fluffing average

Dressed in little denim clothes

And wearing make-up, make-up

Bragging won’t do it

Stalking won’t do it

Violence won’t do it

It’s like getting blood from a stone

Only the stone’s a person

And the blood is a wish

I thought because our manager

Owned a radio station

We might get played on radio

Without a hesitation

Can’t think of another word

to rhyme with hesitation

And do you know

How we could get ourselves on radio

We’re so desperate, so ruddy desperate

Wembley couldn’t hold how it goes

And wearing make-up in our videos

I can’t even find a place to start

With my head wrapped so far up like

Asking you a question

Cos I want to know, know, know, know…

If you could get us on the radio

This is how the fire works

Ow! I burnt my chest hair

Oh God it really burns

Ow ow ow

It’s left my chest burned

We’ll play in stadiums

But I’m afraid of big crowds

We’ll probably have a beer

If management allows

Do you know

How we could get ourselves on radio

We’re so hopeless, so bloody hopeless

The only thing we really know

Is wearing make-up in our videos

And that’s cos record sales fly sky high

When you apply mascara on your eyes

All the men want to know where we tan

Do you know make-up really makes you a man?

I can’t even find a place to start

With my head wrapped so far up like

Asking you a question

Cos I want to know

How we could get ourselves on radio

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