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I saw daddy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night,
He didn't see me creep down the stairs to have a peak
He thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep.

I saw daddy groping Santa Claus
In places that you wouldn't call PG
I guess he didn't see me spying behind the tree,
Why was Santa the one on his knees?

I saw daddy spanking Santa Claus
He must have been on the naughty list.
I couldn't make a noise, who knew that he liked boys?
He must have been much further in the closet than my toys.

I saw daddy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white.
Oh what a laugh it would have been
If mommy had only seen daddy kissing Santa Claus last night!

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