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I like glitter and sparkly dresses
But I'm not gonna talk about that
In my monologue

I like baking and things that smell like winter
But I'm not gonna talk about that
In my monologue
La la la. lalala

I like writing songs about d***** bags who cheat on me
But I'm not gonna say that
In my monologue

I like writing their names into songs
So their ashamed to go in public
But I'm not gonna say that
In my monologue
La la. La la la la la
This is my musical monologue

You might think I'd bring up Joe
That guy who broke up with me on the phone
But I'm not gonna mention him
In my monologue
Hey Joe! I'm doing real well!
Tonight I'm hosting SNL
But I'm not gonna brag about that
In my monologue
La la la...Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. La la la

And if you're wondering if I might be dating the werewolf from Twilight...
*Hi Taylor*
I'm not gonna comment on that
In my monologue
La la. La la la la la
This is my musical monologue

You might be expecting me to say something bad about Kanye
And how he ran up on the stage and runied my VMA monologue
*Sigh*
But there's nothing more to say
Because every thing's okay
I've got security lining the stage

This is my SNL monologue
La la. la la la la la
This is my SNL monologue
La la. La la la la la
That was my SNL monologue

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