So let's begin: Not much of a confession, Just me babbling about My belligerent obsession
To be know by all. Simple as much as vain, But a goal that I've found Myself starving to obtain.
It's a hunger, Unlike any I've ever known, And it drains me of any peace Of minf that I've ever owned.
I've got a sickness, One I cannot fight myself. Indicative of many things So let's set things straight.
I guess the core problem is I cannot stand me, 'Cause whenever I look I can't stand the discrepancy.
What? Did you expect me to brag About having more talent Than other people have? 'Cause I don't.
I'm not even close to par And I can't be no matter How hard I try.
I see people Of their fame fully deserving. They're talented, creative And extremly hard-working,
Insanely genuine. And of it all that last part hurts more. They're themselves And the people adore.
I couldn't have that. Who'd look up to me? The shining beacon Of all mediocrity.
And it's this felf-hate That keeps me up every night, That poisons my views While infecting my sight.
So all I look upon looks greyer By default, end up feeling at fault, With every voice in my head Heading up an assult against my psyche...
...Or whatever parts are left.
I feel so broken at times, It's hard to get How anyone would like me Or any of my works for More than the sake of propriety.
And yet people have, And for a while I feel greater. I tend smile more, I tend to walk straighter.
Call them enablers, 'Cause they allow me to dream. I could manage somehow To be more than I seem.
But then the feeling fades And I'm on my own again, Laughing about how stupid I was then
To believe I was worth Something to them, While shutting my eyes To the "could've been".
But I'm an addict now, As much I've observed, With a need for attention Bordering on the absurd.
My feelings are blurred, With my thoughts of myself Being solely dependent on What I have heard from all others.
Must be a necessity, 'Cause most nights I know the world Will be better when rid of me.
A worthles burden, Devoid of stability. A mistake to be solved Surreptitiously.
But if they disagree, Who's to say that I'm right? And so I spend months and days working, Chasing that light
Of acceptance. A most pathetic plight, But one that I chase With all of my might.
And at the same time I have come to see That when you tune in It is not to see me
And I couldn't blame you, And I mean that sincerely. Your attention I value As dearly.
So what's one to do When for fame you're insistling? While at the same time Wishing you'd cease existing?
Kiling two birds with The throw of one stone By being someone new While erasing the old (me).
And I guess in a way I'm a liar by trade Since I can't really trust Half the things that I say.
But that's the proce that I pay When I take on this role: A moment of bliss in Exchange for my soul.
So I get on this stage and Start making some noise, And I scream and I yell 'till I don't have voice.
Hiding myself, My thoughts I destroy, Doing all that I can, Hoping you will enjoy.
For a hint of acceptance, A hint of repentance. Your love givesme worth And I've built dependence.
There'll be no remembrance For the me I abhor, Peace of mind I just cannot afford.
I wear a mask Of who you want me to be. I wear it with pride. I pretend it is me.
And at the end of the day, I can't tell me apart. I'm a changeling at heart.Teksty umieszczone na naszej stronie są własnością wytwórni, wykonawców, osób mających do nich prawa.
