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Thrown back into ignorance so quickly here
You don't double check your pockets for change
Wish it wasn't written on your countenance so clear
You're not curious what other people face

Christian told me to take colder showers
Run the gap between reaction and response
I'm in denial that these little things make you feel better
I can't eat without feeling I'm on watch

I don't want to see my shoulders as I'm looking down at my feet
Trying to stop tracing all the veins
That decorate the arms of my surroundings

It's not the worst I've looked but the most I've cared about it
When I'm high on the shelf
You can hear I'm not there when shit happens

Touching hell in the early morning
Only way to get my hands on sedative
Desperate to relinquish my escapism
To a line that marks a stubborn outsiderness

I don't mean to emphasize the way I let things drop
Between immediate highlights
It's repeated
Through an atmosphere of wanting
The fact of the intensity the first time

It's not the worst I've looked but the most I've cared about it
When I'm high on the shelf
You can hear I'm not there when shit happens

I wanna push you away

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