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Were I just a dude like you
And not shat out in the back of a car
With a bumpersticker with a fish on
I’d take care not to end up
On the far side of my pitchfork
And sent back with the stork

See I am one of many
A certified tool of the Lord
With a collar to prove
That I am fit to read the bible loud and clear
Anywhere

Now join my Ministry of Pain
And spend your life as terminally insane
Or rest assured
There will be a Bloody Hell to pay one day

Heck I was never told
That the salvation of your soul
Lies at the end of someones butthole

Indoctrination by poking buns
In doctor nation, there is no fun

Now receive the Lord as I myself received His infinite grace
And know the Pokémon is the devil incarnate!
And don’t get me started on the music of the youth of today

Now join my Ministry of Pain
And spend your life as terminally insane
Or rest assured
There will be a Bloody Hell for the stillborn in Armageddon

Who will be the first to throw the stone?
You know, God would go far
If He just stepped down from the clouds
With his big throwing arm
And his beard - puffy like a sheep-farm
And his big gold cross around his neck
The neck he invented for himself
And for all of Mankind

Thank you God
For the neck we have received
It’s the neck we use… When we… Turn our heads

I’ll serve you what you need to eat
Like Angels for Breakfast…
…And God for Lunch
I wish I brought me something good to separate the flesh
From the bones ‘cause the meat is dry
And when you chew with your mouth open Zombie Jesus will rise
And take you hunting ‘till the Dawn of Time!

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