Wanna have some quality time with my son So I brought him down to the fishin' hole Didn't like the feelin' of that worm in his hand Got mad, threw down his fishin' pole
Said, "That's alright, son. Let's go and get an ice cream" "Let your old man buy you a treat" But he didn't like no flavors up upon that wall Started crying, and ran into the street...
He's an asshole, my kid's an asshole I swear it just don't float my boat Always crying, always crying Made me wanna punch him in his little throat
Called my lady up to tell her what had happened How our son had run away She said, "Don't worry, baby, I will talk to him" "And everything will be okay"
My lady's an asshole, she's an asshole Her assholishness is off the charts Always perfect, always perfect Made me wanna punch her in her lady-parts
I decided I'd go down to the bar And drown my sorrows in a beer But the sign outside said 'Closed For Renovations' 'We'll open up again next year'...
That bar is an asshole, it's an asshole Oh, the worst bar in the land! Always closing, always closing Can't punch a bar, cause you'll hurt your hand
I went home to forget about my troubles Sat down in my favorite eazy chair But I couldn't relax from the pain I was feelin' As my hemorrhoid began to flair...
My asshole's an asshole, a real butthole Needs to put his asshole-self in check! Always burning, always itching Made me wanna punch him in his asshole neck
Late one night, lyin' awake in bed Mmmm, a realization came Are there really assholes everywhere I look? Or am I the one to blame?
Maybe I just do not say the things I should say And I don't do the things I ought So I took a good, hard look at myself in the mirror And this is what I thought...
The guy who sold me this mirror is an asshole, he's an asshole Son of a bitch said it was antique He was lyin', he was lyin' Made me wanna punch him in his salesman cheek
I'm on a real asshole streak I could open up an asshole boutique I think this song has reached its peak Goodbye, you assholes, see you next week!Teksty umieszczone na naszej stronie są własnością wytwórni, wykonawców, osób mających do nich prawa.
