on my wall there is a page from a book that clove found

a letter from them rests on that wall
fuck
i miss having them around

friends far away are going to change and i'm the only one who'll notice

i'll graduate
i'll move away
before i know it

every minute i keep getting older
every day the weather keeps getting colder

i don't know how i feel about this year being almost over
i've spent so much time blacked out
i've spent a lot of time sober

my boyfriend was able to sleep last night without waking up with scratches
i want him to sleep every night
i wanna to share his mattress

is there a clear difference between being awake and sleeping?
no matter what i'm staying clean
(even if it means leaving)

i've got a lab report due tuesday but mike wants to jam with me
i've got three more bags of coffee b/c soci got them for free

haley and orianna are being cute like always
jaci's probably sleeping
mia's probably eating candy or watching movies while anna reads

i am sitting in the cry room or the tower room or the hole
i am drinking too much coffee because what is self control

i feel like i can't finish anything but i'm really trying
i'll finish life eventually b/c aren't we all dying?
i'll try not to try to speed up the process
from my mouth, i'll let feelings bleed & hope i'm making progress

today i'll finish anna's patch and return her tiger balm
tonight is our dorm meeting and i don't wanna go at all
sam said the honeymoon period is ending but for me it's starting
as everybody's guards go down, they're getting more charming

suzy will be in new york next time i'm back in chicago
she can't make it to the show i'm playing- thank g-d she's not staying
chicago wouldn't be my home if she didn't live there
but is it now? hell, i don't know
anyway, i'm glad she lives there

i hope these walls never stop changing
i hope this brush never stops painting
i hope my hands never stop making
i hope my soul/body keeps on aging
i hope i never stop failing
i can't wait for it to start raining
i'm getting sick of daylight-saving
but sometimes life's pretty fucking amazing

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