i plan a lot - i get that from my mother
i'm late a lot - i get that from my father
i overcommit and i'm made up of parts and people that do not fit together
i feel a lot of overwhelming feelings
i think a lot of scattered thoughts
i understand that i worry a lot
i understand that it doesn't help but that doesn't help me
taking up time // taking up space
there's got to be a better way
there's got to be something to do to make myself feel happy too
thinking for myself // dealing with shit
is generally hit or miss
maybe that will change with time but life is a lot to take in sometimes
there are a lot of words that make me happy
there are some words that leave me feeling sad
i want to feel every emotion but mostly i just wish to feel good
i have to think i am a composition of things that are too small to comprehend
i have to think that i am just a formation of cells for whom i am not the end
dissociation // agitation
affirmation // validation
finding reasons to keep breathing
learning how to keep on healing
i am not a disappointment
i am not a waste of space
i'm learning how to stick with these parts - the ones that i would like to change
there's comfort in impermanence
there's glory in resilience
there's solace in things i can't change
there are a lot of things i can't explain
i apologize a lot
my moods are hard to expect
i disrespect myself
i know i'm such a mess
everything is fragile
everything is significant
the universe is intricate
no one is omnipotent
being a girl
being a boy
being nothing at all
being a swinging door
i am a universe
i am a conduit
i am a piece of matter
my feelings are legitimate
i am an animal
i am a safer space
i am a piece of something
i don't need to find my place
i am a funeral
i am a celebration
i am a part of nature
i am not a failure
i am a symphony
i am a forest fire
i am the sound of rain
i have the right to feel pain
i am a thousand different things
i feel so many different feelings
i experience so many sensations
sticking around is so courageous
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