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This continuous habit.
To make my focus increase.
Imagination riots.
Ejaculate depression.

December morning.
I completed my ritual.
But this time was different.
I was left without reward.

Today I see it clearly.
I had ejaculated backwards.
Dispersing in the bladder.
Clinging on to the upper wall.

For the next 8 weeks.
Pain during urination.
I close my eyes and
try to pull myself together.

I wonder if it got something to do with my hormones.
A female feature in my otherwise healthy chromosomes.
I wonder if it got something to do with my hormones.
A female feature in my otherwise healthy chromosomes.

Yesterdays masturbation.
Small gray lump welled out of me.
With hair, one eye, navel-cord.
Stillborn but pretty proud.

I wonder if it got something to do with my hormones.
A female feature in my otherwise healthy chromosomes.
I wonder if it got something to do with my hormones.
A female feature in my otherwise healthy chromosomes.

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