Everytime I have the urge to purge my manly plumbing
I just turn on Knightrider and up mein ass I'm thumbing
I don't care if bad guys pounce,
I do kokaine by the ounce
I put my whole life on hold as I often wonder...
Who put the ASS in Hasselhoff
On one hand I cannot count how often I get off
Who put the ASS in Hasselhoff
Dr. Beardy commands you to turn your head and cough
Who put the ASS in Hasselhoff
If I were swine and you were feed I'd never leave the trough
Who put the ASS in Hasselhoff
Mein bratwurst in his hand goes to firm from soft

Second best is Baywatch
Alarm is set on mein wristwatch
every weeknight 6 PM I get my daily dose of men
I don't watch the bosoms bounce
I don't care if funboys drown
I put my whole life on hold
as my hand goes up and down!

Who put the ASS in Hasselhoff
eins zwei drei vier fünf sechs times a day I will get off
Who put the ASS in Hasselhoff
Dr. Beardy commands you to turn your head and cough
Who put the ASS in Hasselhoff
If I were swine and you were feed I'd never leave the trough
Who put the ASS in Hasselhoff
If you change the channel while I watch Baywatch you die!

Beary put the ass in Hasselhoff
Who me?
Ja you!
Couldn't be!
Then who?
Adolf put the ass in Hasselhoff!
Nein, not I. I was polishing mein Lugers
Johann put the ass in Hasslehoff!
Nein, not I. I was tending to mein Ratten Kraatch!
Die Frau put the ass in Hasselhoff!
Never, not I. I was sampling sausage
Deutschland put the ass in Hasselhoff!
Jaaaaa!

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