I feel that I've hit bottom
I've come to a crossroad in my life
The left side is existence
The right side is where I die
As I grapple with this lunacy
I relish with delight
The power I possess to revoke this shattered life
Another sleepless night in this forced sodomy we call life
Like an apple as red as blood, until I take a bite
And the bitterness overwhelms my palate, I have been deceived
The dreams that now escape me are forever out of reach
The bells of agony are pealing
With disharmonious bliss
My mind is left void of feeling
My coil is now spiritless
I torment myself with this disenchantment that I feel
The bed that I've made
Is draining the life from me
I've sent up every red flad and exhausted every warning
I've been meticulous in my wake and surpassed my state of mourning
To carry all this weight I have grown too weak
I'm drowning in a sea of my own anxiety
As I view the tool I've chosen for death
I reach for its poison and exhale a deep breath
Cylinders of hatred to tear through my skull
Golden they glow, so wicked and small
These pills of lead are my only friends
They'll grant me the gift of a quick, painless end
Each one is grinning and begging of me
To be the one to become part of me
The frigid steel burns cold on my flesh
As I chamber a round I settle my hands
This demon of death lies idle and waits
To set free its hammer and unleash its rage
I now sit here all alone, save my new found friends
Perched on the edge of my bed with the barrel against my head
With just one twitch of my finger the torment will come to an end
The one thing I hadn't counted on were the thoughts of family and friends
Despite all of my problems there are those for whom I care
To them it would make a difference if I weren't there
So I've clawed my way through another day
But I know tomorrow will be worse than yesterday
This temorary solution won't make this shit go away
With my head in my hands, the cycle starts again
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