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The girls are on the beach in their string bikinis
The guys are strutting, proudly showing off their weenies
Top 40 garbage spewing from expensive radios
As they primp their pampered bodies
And put schnozz-guard on their nose

This ain't Hawaii (×3)

Prep school blondes and musclemen with perfect heinies
There's more money on this beach than all the tea in China
The girls all look like Nancy Drew, the boys like Jim McMahon
Their fat, white, ugly parents look like Morey Amsterdam

This ain't Hawaii (×3)

In droves they hit the beach in Porches and Ferraris
The sun has cooked their brain, they're on a surf safari
The lake is full of creepy snobs, I start to get annoyed
This isn't Honolulu, dummy, this is Illinois

This ain't Hawaii (×3)

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