---

she held her breath, thought catalyzed the panic
incandescent death hiding just beneath the epidermis
"oh not again," she thought - she'd told them she was just like them
and for a decade, she was

there is a desperation in the irises of her eyes
the marks from all the years that terror kept her whole
she learns the movements and she doesn't bat an eye when they break
all her brittle bones anymore

THIS IS ALL I HAVE TO BE
obscure the fractured self with practiced legitimacy
WHEN IT KILLS ME
i won't mind; there will be no difference on the inside

she got away, too burnt to feel the damage
months into days, and the fear she felt at those around her
never the same, she thought - empathy blurred into something more than she could take
so she ran

there is a desperation in the irises of her eyes
the marks from all the years that terror kept her whole
she learns the movements and she doesn't bat an eye when they break
all her brittle bones anymore

THIS IS ALL I HAVE TO BE
mutilate the soul under the lie of cold necessity
WHEN IT KILLS ME
i won't mind; there will be no difference on the inside

it hasn't changed, the terror hasn't gone away
but when she's safe for a moment, she knows
she peels away a tiny piece of all the noise she's built up to survive
and it's so...

THIS IS ALL I WANT TO BE
lost between the years, the static swallowed all belief in safety
I CAN'T TELL
if i'm alive
but something feels different on the inside ✰

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