the voltage in my blood and in my skin
crackles and erodes clouded reticence
the pressure in my skull makes it hard to think
but i won't let tonight become where i've been

if i could keep my memories
away from the dread and anxiety
(who would i be?)
i want to live, i want to feel
i'm tired of feeling unreal
(i'm more than this)
i want to stay, but i'm afraid
i don't want the safety to go away
(but anyway)

i am alive
i'm here tonight

the movement in my chest, i can't explain
a frequency like death without any pain
my skin is held intact by the lightest wind
is this what it's like to be alive again?

if i could stay a certain way, if i could feel every day
(i'd fall apart)
if i could have a different life, could i look myself in the eye?
(would i know why?)
i want to stay, but i'm afraid
i don't want the safety to go away
(but anyway)

i close my eyes
and dream of light.

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