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Little yellow spots of dirt on my carpet
Won't go away from watching you clean
You are the ruler of my apartment
My sole point of interest, if you know what I mean

I thought you a proud man until I spent some time on you
And now I know that you are not of that breed
You make me want to do things, like laugh 'til I pass out
You make me want to vomit, you make me want to read

And how in the name of He Who Made Creation
Did I breathe a second without you by my side?
And I built a fort, and I christened it Fort Stagan
My roommate Sara Mykrantz walked in and was surprised

But, you try to say, 'Never thought you would let me go that way', no

I never thought it could be so new
I always had this suspicion that I would get old before I knew
Mom bought grandma a change purse, blue
But, who are we kidding? She can't even go to the store

I always wonder about how my life will turn out
Beth made a comment, true
But, what does it matter? Grandpa can't even read the news

You have talents that I could only dream to possess
Our love is like a lampshade, do you know what that means?
An atlas of the world points my head and body to the Northwest
My roommate Sara Mykrantz walked in and was surprised

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