We’ve got a to-die-for deal
Made especially for you
It really is quite the deal
Buy now and get not one, but two
You can’t pass it up

Two chains for the price of one
You won’t pass it up
Consider that a threat

If humans are born free but everywhere they are in chains,
Those chains have to come from somewhere

That’s where I come in
I’m a leader in the chain industry
And I only presciently recognize and meet a pressing need
Don’t blame me for my philanthropic deed
I’m just overseeing what is sold
I answer only to the Market
And the Market beckons

You need chains
I have chains

It is often safer to be in chains than to be free,
Those chains still have to come from somewhere

That’s where I come in
I work in the chain industry
And I only sell different styles, and fashions, and colors,
And brands of chains to people like you and me
Don’t blame me for making a living
I’m just doing what I’m told
I answer only to corporate
They give me stock investment

You need chains - you just haven’t developed the skills to see it yet
Chains of freedom
You need chains - you just haven’t developed the knowledge to know it yet
Chains of freedom

Twice as much freedom for the price of half
A to-die-for deal made on your behalf

And, guess what—it’s your lucky day
If you buy now, we’ll also throw in two locks
Useful, to keep disobedient workers on the clock
And those inefficient unions at bay

We can’t ensure a lifetime guarantee
But if your workers break their chains, we’ll be here to replace them any day
Of course at a fee, we do nothing for no pay
As much as we like doing good, what we like infinitely more is money

Twice as much freedom for the price of half
A to-die-for deal made on your behalf

Chains of freedom

Here comes the waiter with your final meal
No need to tip, this is the end of your trip
And in just a moment you’ll need it, get out your wallet
Prepare yourself for a true to-die-for deal

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