---

I read it in the papers
It must be true
It said "Girl Gives Birth to Alien Boy"
But do we see a photo of this bundle of joy – no, no

I saw another headline
It knocked me flat
It said "Dinosaur Found Alive Today"
It's easy when you're talking the rhetorical way

It's what the papers say
You know it's right
It's down there written in black and white – for you
It's what the papers say
You know it's true
They're responsible citizens and would they lie to you?

I saw it on the front page
Whatever next?
It read "NASA Plans Sex In Outer Space"
No doubt to procreate the human race

They put it in the late news
Well, now hear this
It went "Man With Two Heads Learns To Fly"
Well, JESUS, but he must have been one hell of a guy

It's what the papers say
You know it's right
It's down there written in black and white – for you
It's what the papers say
You know it's true
They're pillars of society and would they lie to you?

I saw it on the newsstand
It shouted at me
It said "We Are All Good and They Are All Bad"
Well drive me to the clinic, 'cos it's driving me mad

It's what the papers say
You know it's right
It's down there written in black and white – for you
It's what the papers say
You know it's true
They're responsible citizens and would they lie to you?

It's what the papers say
You know it's right
It's down there written in black and white – for you
It's what the papers say
You know it's true
They're the pillars of society and would they lie to you?

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