In the free state of Chiapas, in the city of San Ju-an There was a bruja pequeña, guapa come un orangután She was a chava melancólica, le dolía el corazón So she brewed the Calimojo, a Maya love poción
Ahi ahi ahi ahi Un murciélago primavera se cayó en el calderón Ahi ahi ahi ahi Se salió la calavera de un pinche demonio chingón
Ohe! El chupacabra cadabra Is merciless y macabra, bringer of maldición Ohe! El chupacabra cadabra Is spiky but also glabra, you left the poor brujita Sin amor y sin sabor
He's a perrazo malvado, his bite is brutal Removes the olor and the worm, from the tequila and the mezcal Por los campos el se va, disembowelando each animal Aumentando el chupamiento de forma exponencial
Ahi ahi ahi ahi Se toma un cabroncito como si fuera un chapulín Ahi ahi ahi ahi Nada lo puede parar, hasta hydroxychloroquine!
Ohe! El chupacabra cadabra Is merciless y macabra, bringer of maldición Ohe! El chupacabra cadabra Is spiky but also glabra, you left the poor brujita Sin amor y sin sabor
Through the desert of Chihuahua, from the Sierra of Guadalupe Came an enmasquarado warrior, el jefe Chapo Chups
Desert of Chihuaua! Sierra of Guadalupe! Enmasquarado Warrior! Come Chupa Chups!
Chasing the chingado perro, for the goats and libertad Armado with a rifle and su buena voluntad
Chingado perrito! Goats and libertad! With an AR-15! Buena voluntad!
Caminando, Navegando, Chateando! (Manzotin, Manzotin) He found a Maya PDF enshrining an old prophecy inside a group on Telegram
But the archivo was infectado with a malware matador Only an old geek had the license of the antivirus curador
Archivo infectado! Malware matador! Norton antivirus! Resto in goleador!
He was Lucas Montañero, el Chamuleño hackerador He unlocked and read the file en su old computador
Lucas Montañero! Viejo commodore! San Ju-an Chamula! Cocacola lord!
Y leyendo, interpretando, descifrando! (Rasputin, Rasputin) Dijo "Bleach", a chida Maya word of obscure significado que en inglés es "bleach"
And so el Chapo received from the Chamulenyo hackerador The goblet of bleach and "Asada Quebrada" The precolombian app to track and trace the Chupacabra After two weeks of climb and descent across curved paths He finally reached the Fauces del Volcán Popocatépetl Where the Chupacabra was fly-fishing without much success As el Chapo found the beast he screamed: In the name of Big Farm, I'll eradicate you! And from six feet apart he started to fire his deadly bleach droplets... And so the battle began!
But the Chamuleño bleach was ineffective And the Chupacabra fought back and started chupating El Chapo's upper respiratory tract, making him choke Desperate and hopeless was el Chapo Until his precolombian app started to shine from a notification that said:
The FDA grants you Emergency Use Authorization of the spell "Asada Quebrada" 95% effective against Chupacabras
Ahi ahi ahi ahi, Asada Quebrada, the spell of Inferno These are spike cactus' summoning words, a Mayan frightening tune
Chinga tu madre vete a la verga, puto pendejo cabrón Me meo en tu tequila sal y limón, usted es un pinche huevón
Ahi ahi ahi AIDS, Asada Quebrada, it's a kind of magic The Spike booster pierces the perro malvado, taking his breath away
Chinga tu puta perro cabrón, la perra que te cabró Me cago en tus huevos, gusano chingón, eres un taco strapón Chinga tu puta perro cabrón, la perra que te cabró Me cago en tus huevos, gusano chingón, eres un taco strapón Chinga tu puta perro cabrón, la perra que te cabró Me cago en tus huevos, gusano chingón, eres un taco strapón Chinga tu puta perro cabrón, la perra que te cabró Me cago en tus huevos, gusano chingón, eres un taco strapón
After three shots the monster mutated and retired in his den near a lake Researches of UNAM call him "Chupacobra" a harmless and endemic snake Then came an eagle, trying to chupate him, but its taste was disgusting and shitty In a concrete mixer she spat him and made him the pillar of Mexico city
Chapo chups became a farming class hero, a star like Vicente Fernandez But the adverse effects of his spell turned him into a groundhog named George W. Sanchez
Sanchez! Sanchez! Sanchez! Sanchez!
El pueblo was rejoicing, inside Mexico DF Singin' this haggadic refrain, celebrating Sanchez If you just beat the Chupacabra, and didn't throw the bleach at him It would have been enough, dajenu Sanchez!
Da dajenu! Da dajenu! Da dajenu, dajenu Sanchez!
If you just threw bleach at him, and you didn't say Asada Quebrada It would have been enough, dajenu Sanchez! If you said Asada Quebrada, and didn't make him an endemic snake It would have been enough, dajenu Sanchez!
Da dajenu! Da dajenu! Da dajenu, dajenu Sanchez!
If you made him an endemic snake, and didn't steal Frida Kahlo's tweezers It would have been enough, dajenu Sanchez! If you stole Frida Kahlo's tweezers and didn't murder Lev Trotzky Disguised as Christian de Sica's uncle, dajenu Sanchez!
Da dajenu! Da dajenu! Da dajenu, dajenu Sanchez!
If you murdered Lev Trozky, and didn't make the Mexico Open Just for Djoković, dajenu Sanchez Just for Djoković, you took a trip to Wuhan To see the BSL-4 lab...
Da dajenu! Da dajenu! Da dajenu, dajenu Sanchez! Da dajenu! Da dajenu! Da dajenu, dajenu Sanchez!Teksty umieszczone na naszej stronie są własnością wytwórni, wykonawców, osób mających do nich prawa.
