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You and me we’re not the same.
I am a sinner, you are a saint.
When we get to the pearly gates,
You’ll get the green light,
I’ll get the old door in the face.

Do, do, do – I’m a loser, a disgrace.

I found love in the strangest place –
Tied up and branded, locked in a cage.
I say, “I’m gonna stage a great escape.”
Let loose a love
All pent up and painfully out of place.

Do, do, do – I’m a loser, a disgrace.
You’re a beauty – a luminary in my face.
I got a lot of not a lot. I got a lot less than a lot.

I’ve got problems
Not just the ones that are little –
Big old people problems
It’s something to consider
When you come for dinner at my place.

I seem to find myself with the craziest of dames.
They get the ball on me (not to forget the chains).
Some say strange be a stranger’s game.
Some go to baseball,
Some go debase a face they can’t seem to save.

Do, do, do – I’m a loser, a disgrace.
You’re a beauty – a luminary in my face.
I got a lot of not a lot. I got a lot less than a lot.

I’ve got problems
Not just the ones that are little –
Big old people problems
It’s something to consider
When you come for dinner at my place.

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