The Gay Animal Song

Good evening ladies and gentlemen!
What a wonderful audience!
Well, look at smell divine!

In the Origin of Species
Charles Darwin liked to say
That dressing up and showing off
Was purely male display.
But sadly scientifically
He led us all astray
For what he failed to notice
Was these creatures are all gay

There's a tiny bird in Kent
Who's ridiculously bent
And a rutting stag who is a total deer
There are naughty big blue whales
And the sperm whale prefers males
And the dolphin is of course completely queer
There's a very brazen chimp
Who is very rarely limp
And a shrimp who's pink and utterly obscene
While the small transvestite prawn
Is completely into porn
And the King Crab is of course an utter Queen.

Gay gay gay
They all are madly gay
But in Victorian times
That was not the thing to say.

In the Rutland Isles' warm waters
There's a cross-dressing tortoise
And an ass who makes a pass at everyone
There's a masturbating monkey
And a terribly rude donkey
And a very very famous lesbian swan
There's a big bisexuel elk
And a tiny gay young whelk
And a snake who is a rake all night and day
And a sorry little sheep
Who is in to Meryl Streep
And don't tell me the anteater's not gay!

Gay gay gay
They all are madly gay
Ten percent of nature's bent
At least that's what they say

Thank you so much, very, very kind!
I’d like to say hello to the Navy...

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