---

now I look back from far away,
thinking of that pivotal day.
back when I did not want to heed
signs that were just there to read.

yet I do not know what to say,
after so long I've not felt okay.
but back then I felt like I could
do anything that fit my mood.

it was then when I did not see,
that all the things you do can be
the source of so much loss and pain,
where you think only of your gain.

back when there was nothing else.
too blind to see my cap and bells,
I caused so much that would come back,
to haunt me till the end in black.

I sit and stare into the dark,
so sad I did not think to hark
to what was in the air long ago,
telling me to mend what I sow.

the source of so much loss and pain,
where you think only of your gain.

I have lost all along the line,
and now there is just no more time
to ponder what might be the cause
of what has at last made me pause.

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