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[Verse 1]
Turkey's on fire
Tree ain't even lit
Bought all these damn presents
Now I'm broke as shit
Merry fuckin' Christmas

[Verse 2]
Uncle Bubba told the kids
Santa ain't real
Sister's vegan boyfriend is bitchin' 'bout the veal
Huh, merry fuckin' Christmas

[Chorus]
Thank God it only comes once a year
I wish grandma weren't the only one
Who got ran over by a reindeer
Call us a bunch of screw [?]
But only booze will get us through this
Find a lullaby bla-bla
Merry fuckin' Christmas

[Verse 3]
What I wouldn't give
For a silent night
If I hear that McCartney song one more time
I swear
Merry fuckin' Christmas

[Verse 4]
Sorry baby Jesus
Don't mean no disrespect
All these folks together
What the hell did you expect?
Oh no, merry fuckin' Christmas

[Chorus]
Well, thank God it only comes once a year
I wish grandma weren't the only one
Who got ran over by a reindeer
Call us a bunch of screw [?]
But only booze will get us through this
Find a lullaby bla-bla
Merry fuckin' Christmas

[Bridge]
So, here we go

[Chorus]
Well, thank God it only comes once a year
I wish grandma weren't the only one
Who got ran over by a reindeer
Call us a bunch of screw [?]
But only booze will get us through this
Find a lullaby bla-bla
Where the hell is Santa Clause?
I sure hope that y'all
Have a merry fuckin' Christmas
[Outro]
Merry Christmas y'all
Are you gonna finish that drink?
Oh it's gonna be a long night

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