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She was born in the Pembroke Pines
But there's been a shift in the paradigm
She can open mayonaise jars with just a single point
Or she can evaporate it, if she gets annoyed
And her friends don't understand the way she be
Now that her fingers can shoot out laser beams

I don't know how it started but it happened one day
While she was drawing pictures on MS-Paint
Her mom came in and said "when ya gonna do the dishes, Diane?"
She pointed and exploded their whole damned flat
So now when she gets an itch she scratches it more carefully
Because her fingers can shoot out laser beams

"How does it happen?"
I already told you how it starts
"Now what will happen?"
I can't tell you that
I'm just Marc With a C... I'm not that smart

But she went on TV with David Letterman
She blew up the studio audience
She went to a rock show and did the metal salute
And she produced some pyro that blew off the roof
That's how she got the job working for Ozzy
Because her fingers can shoot out laser beams

Now she's all rockin' because we all know that laser beams rock
She's rockin' with Dokken
If you need a light, her fingers can give you a spark

She comes out for the encore which is "Iron Man"
She lights up the room like no machine can
Well, she ain't all that pretty but don't tell her that
She will burn your ass up right where you stand
And her friends don't understand the way she be
Now that her fingers can shoot out laser beams

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