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I don't care if I ever get back
Or if my roommate is really addicted to smack
i've got so much music that I keep on wax
But my record player is broken

Well, I could walk to the Mobil, I could buy some beer
It's my reward for living the last twenty-one years
But nothing can reduce yours truly to tears
Like when his record player is broken

The cars are screaming down Aloma Ave
Earlier I heard two of them crash
With opposing political stickeers on the back
Now we know which one won the match
(fucker.)

But I don't care if all the voting was rigged
Or if all of UCF spontaneously bombs trig
Or if you bought a bunch of pot, but it was all stems and twigs
My record player is broken

If I took a bath, I'd just get dirty again
If cleanliness is next to godliness I've been
Living in my filth as well as living in sin
Like a Bon Jovi single that bombed again

I don't care if the sun goes out
Or if the Royal Tenenbaums plant a bunch of bean sprouts
Dylan's got nothing in my room to sing about
When my record player is broken

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