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I'm out tonight,
gonna find some girls.
I wanna make it right,
and try everyone in my sight

I try with a girl, she slaps my face,
I try with a gal, I'm a disgrace.
I try with a chick, she won't give me head,
I try with a lass, she wants me dead.

Gettin' laid is hard, if you are fat.
It's always the same, so fucking lame.
I sure know, I will die alone.
Gettin' laid is hard, if you are fat.

I tried again,
everything in vain.
No girl wants to be with me,
when they see me, they flee.

I try with a cutie, she kicks my balls,
I try with a dame, she wants alone.
I try with a wench, she's all defensive,
I try with a slut, she's way too expensive.

But then I saw, walking to me,
Beautiful as can be, the woman of my dreams.
She want's to go out, she's all alone,
live to believe, I'll buy her some drinks.

Ooooh I've got something big, red, and throbbing for you, girl...
my heart.

She grabbed the drink, she's running away,
Oh, fuck, not again!
I though I was gonna spank that butt,
but I got played by a slut.

Gettin' laid is hard, if you are fat.
It's always the same, so fucking lame.
I sure know, I will die alone.
Gettin' laid is hard, if you are fat.

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