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K / Key of Awesome / The Hills


Yo man I'm the world's worth uber driver
Crashed the car and there were no survivors
I probably won't receive a five star rating
Makes me sing like a sad, pouty baby
Now these girls will never make it to prom
Them bitches said my head looked like two pom poms
Turned around to yell, I lost control then
Flipped the car and now it has exploded

Chorus 1:
This song's about treating women like shit
And somehow it got past the feminist
It doesn't matter if it's sexist or UN-PC
That I treat girls like feces
Doesn't mean much if it's catchy

Girl:
That's my jam!

I only sing about cocaine and sex
It's R&B with freaky sound effects
I only call you at 5:30 which is early
So this part's not that creepy
'Cause I'm punctual, that's the real me, yeah!

This is just a role and I'm an actor
On The Weeknds* I work as a pastor
Me and my fiancée are quite boring
We go on nature walks then watch our stories
I just washed the dishes fore I saw you
I bought you a latte and some perfume
Let's go out to brunch and to a day SPA
Then we'll go play bingo with your grandma

Grandma:
Bingo!

Chorus 2:
But when I sing I have to call you bitch
'Cause there's so many words that rhyme with bitch
Now every pop star is just bragging about fucking
'Cause we're dummies in our twenties
And we all have tatoo sleeves, yeah!
I only call you when my car's on fire
Do you know how to change a burning tire
I am like the next Marvin Gaye or MJ
If they cursed more than Kanye
I can moonwalk on cocaine, whooo!

(Earlier that day)
Waitress:
It comes with fries, it comes with fries
Or a vegetable
Or a baked potato

I'll have fries on the side
And we'll take the check
I've got a car to wreck

Good bye, Honey!
I've to go be The Weeknd

Fiancée:
Oh, but it's only tuesday, dear
(laugh)

Good one, Muffin

The Weeknd & Fiancée:
I can't feel my face, when I with you

Fiancée:
Oh, don't forget your cocaine, dear

*Weeknd - nawiązanie do pseudonimu autora piosenki.
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