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Now the time of year is Christmas,
my love won't you buy for me
a little piece of crap?
Something that they make in China,
something made of plastic,
something shit like that.
Something I don't need and never will.

O'Christmas landfill, glorious and everlasting!
Fleeting joy will never decompose.
O'Christmas landfill, beautiful and inexpensive!
Momentary thrill forever grows.

Think of all the little children
working in the factories.
We musn't let them down.
How their weakened hearts would flutter
if only they could see us
in our dressing gowns,
eating lamb, and chicken,
and ham, and turkey, and prawns,
and beet potato salad, and pudding,
and Pavlova, and chocolate,
and ice cream, and chips.

O'Christmas landfill, glorious and everlasting!
Fleeting joy will never decompose.
O'Christmas landfill, beautiful and inexpensive!
Momentary thrill forever grows.

When the planet boils over
and our species is extintct,
your gift will still remain.
Maybe a cockroach family
will use it for shelter
from the acid rain.

O'Christmas landfill, glorious and everlasting!
Fleeting joy will never decompose.
O'Christmas landfill, beautiful and inexpensive!
Momentary thrill forever grows.

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