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Everyone knows someone we'd be better off without
But best not mention names 'cause we don't know who's about
But why commit a murder and risk the fires of hell
When black widows in the privy can do it just as well?

Now poison's good, and daggers, and arrows in the back,
And if you're really desperate you can try a front attack
But are they really worthy of the risk of being caught
When black widows in the privy need not be bribed or bought?

So if there's one of whom you wish most simply to be rid
Just wait till dark and point the way to where the widow's hid
And say to them 'I think you'll find that this one is the best'
And black widows in the privy will gladly do the rest!

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