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I was down in Music City 'bout a week ago
I wanted to see the Grand Old Opry show,
so I hailed a cab and I headed down to Opryland
They said they sold their last ticket the day before,
so I kinda just hung around the backstage door
and down the steps she came, man oh man
My favourite female country star,
she waved to her fans and headed for her car
Her tire, unlike her body, was very flat
She said, could you change my tire
I said your wish is my desire
As she raised the lid, I grabbed her bumper jack
She said, I sure do appreciate your changing my tire

If I told you who it was, if I told you who it was
You'd say I was making it up
You've seen her on the screen and country magazines
You'd think I was making it up
She said it was our little secret and by golly,
Oh I'm gonna keep it
Anyway you wouldn't believe it
If I told you who it was

She said you need a lift and I said well,
you can drop me of at the York motel,
so we headed down Briley parkway into town
I told her I got all your records ma'am,
she smiled and said well I'll be damned
She said, you're kind of cute fellar, wanna mess around?
When we got to my room just to be polite
I said sure wish I could've heard you sing tonight
She smiled at me and said, what you wanna hear?
Well if I was one of them country music folks
I'll tell you, she'd sure get my vote for the best performance of the year

If I told you who it was, if I told you who it was
You'd say I was making it up
You've seen her on the screen and country magazines
You'd think I was making it up
She said it was our little secret and by golly,
I'm gonna keep it
Anyway you wouldn't believe it
If I told you who it was

Well I tell you this much,
when I put my arms around her and squeezed her real tight
She looked up at me with those big beautiful eyes,
took a deep breath and a sigh and said:
"Howdy I'm just so proud to be here!"

If I told you who it was, if I told you who it was
You'd say I was making it up
You've seen her on the screen and country magazines
You'd think I was making it up
She said it was our little secret and by golly,
I'm gonna keep it
Anyway you wouldn't believe it
If I told you who it was

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